On the move!!!

I hate travelling. Two months ago i bought a ticket to nyc because it was sooo cheap. Shortly after buying my ticket i thought to myself what i was going to do in nyc...i dont like shopping...i dont like clubbing...i dont like sightseeing...why the fuck was i going to new york. Then i recalled that i bought my ticket because my bosom buddy was going to be there on the 25th during his winter break. I called this friend of mine to tell him the good news that we were going to meet up in new york. He got really excited and we started making plans and shit. Just as he was saying goodbye he goes "See you on the 25th of November". All of a sudden this red light starts flashing in my mind...i'm like u mean the 25th of December don't u dog...he's like no no the 25th of November...and then i'm like Oh fuck...u stupid son of a bitch. Now i was stuck with a ticket to nyc and nuthing to do. So after finding that my ticket is non-refundable and non transferable i decided that i'd try to make the best out of a bad situation and go to nyc (by no choice of my own). So the day of the flight i get ready 5 hours before departure...while travelling i become a fucking nervous wreck...i keep doing the travel dance every 2 minutes...u know the one in which u first touch your ass to see whether u have ur wallet...then u touch ur right pocket to see if u have your cell phone and keys...and finally u touch ur left pocket to see if you have ur passport...its sorta like the new version of the macarena. So i reach appleton airport half an hour before the flight due to various complications and i am freaking out because i ussually reach the airport 2 hours before the flight. Now i am rushing...checking in...getting my boarding pass...and all the two people in the airport are like what the fuck is wrong with u....this is fucking appleton airport...it takes two seconds to get through security...little did they know that i was special....I am a Pakistani who has a pacemaker. So i make my way to the metal detector explain to the guy that i cant go through it...he takes me around it and starts giving me a play by play commentary..."Now please standup put ur hands on ur side...now i am going to pat ur with the front of my hands around the leg and then i making my way up and now i am going to touch ur sensitive area with the back of my hand so that u dont feel uncomfortable...now i am making my way up ur thigh...oops i touched a sensitive area with the front of my hand. i was like god dammit the bullshit hell...this guy is trying to seduce me...and he isnt even my type. Anyway getaway from the security gaurd...manage to board the plane. Now while boarding the funniest slash stupidest thing happened. As i entered the plane there was this elderly indian woman sitting in the front and as i was looking at her i lost all control of my facial muscles and for some reason only god knows why i winked at her...I winked at a poor unsuspecting elderly indian woman...i have expected to be slapped but thankfully that didnt happen.
Fortunately nuthing else happened on the way to new york...except i saw the most high tech bathroom i have ever seen...it was straight out of star trek...automatic flushes...automatic taps....automatic paper dispensers...i didnt take a dump but im pretty sure they beamed their shit up. Reached the place i was staying went straight to bed as i had to leave next day to go to wesleyan.

The next day i grabbed the first available greyhound to Wesleyan. Now if you have ever been on a greyhound u wud know that it is the worst form of transportation...it shud be ur last resort. The drivers are on the verge of commiting suicide and are always pissed off. Its a good thing that in the movie speed the villain didnt put the bomb on a greyhound or Keanu reeves wudnt have stood a chance...the moment sandra bullock apprached the bus driver the bus driver wud've shouted..."Ma'aam please do not cross the white line".....sandra wud say "but there is a bomb on the bu...". "Ma'aam i said PLEASE dont cross the white line". "...but there is a bomb on the bus and if you dont go over 50 mph....". "Oh no girl u didnt just cross the white line...i am stopping the bus now"....BOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This time on the greyhound something a little less exciting then that happened...there was this lady talking on her cell phone...and the bus driver is like maa'aam please turnoff ur cellphone...the lady didnt give a shit about what the driver jus t said and kept on talking...Maa'aam i repeat please turn ur cellphone off....the woman once again ignored the driver. Then out of nowhere the bus driver took a sharp right turn and stopped the bus on the side of the road and then he goes..."Maa'aam u continue with ur conversation i won't move the bus until you stop talking on ur cellphone. Do you know ur cell phone is interferring with the navigational instruments". And at the point im like what the fuck....the navigational system....in a fucking greyhound bus...whats going to happen if it gets fucked up are the roads going to disappear...what the fuck having a navigational system on a bus...how fucking retarded are the drivers that they can't follow simple exit signs...newho the woman turned off her cellphone and i managed to reach wesleyan.

When i reached wesleyan i found out that the friend i was visiting was doing an african dance concert and i had to go see it. The moment i walked into the theatre my friend runs out in a hay skirt and at that point i blacked out because too many smart alick comments came to my head all at once.

This is the juncture of the trip i am at right now...so hopefully if all goes well none of the above incidents will repeat its self...i hate travelling!!!