Measuring Up
Warning: If u want to protect ur "virgin" ears do not read the 4th paragraph. U have been warned.
It was one of the rare moments in the year when I actually thought about where my life was headed and whether I would live up to my parents expectations. Would I be able to outdo my father which is the goal of every son??? Then being the dumb shmuck I am all these inappropriate jokes started to pop up in my head and I cudn’t continue to introspect (token big word).
Now I was thinking that I was going to have a tough time exceeding my dads accomplishments but look at the sons/daughters of these people would’ve had to live up to.
Now if Jesus had a son that boy would have a serious inferiority complex. Imagine how he would introduce himself…”Hi I’m the Grandson of God” doesn’t have the same ring to it. The poor guy most probably would end up in the loony bin…people wud keep asking him…”What can u do…can u cure aids…huh huh….can u turn water into wine…huh huh??” To this the Grandson of God wud reply, “I can’t turn water into wine but I can turn it into beer and that too only a lite beer”. Jesus’ son would be a social outcast…the jews would want to crucify him…the Christians wud be in denial that jesus has no son…and the muslims…well the muslims wud just want to blow him up cuz he is a foreigner. Finally how would the poor boy be able to top Jesus’ biggest accomplishment…”THE CRUCIFICATION”…this boy is going to be one fucked up kid cuz from childhood the only thing he wud be thinking of is how he would die…”Maybe if I was thrown out of a plane on fire….yes fire is a good touch…and while I was falling to the ground I would be shot in the arms and legs….and just before im about to hit the ground someone catches me only so that they can castrate me and feed me to the pigs….yes if I cud get this done surely it would top dads Crucifition.” For the sake of this child we can only hope that Dan Brown is wrong.
I’m sure Ron Jeremy has many sons and I feel for these poor sons of bitches (for all of u who are acting innocent as if they don’t know who Ron Jeremy is or those who actually don’t know who Ron Jeremy is here is a brief Bio. Ron Jeremy is the Porn King. He has made the most porn movies in the world and he has a penacular size of 11 inches and ¾ quarters…almost a foot long subway sub for those of u trying to imagine…sickos). Now first of all men have a complex abt the size of their equipment…and these poor guys would have live up to a legend. The girls would be going out with them with the expectation that they would “measure up” to their father. Now Ron Jeremy’s sons are the few people I can’t blame for turning gay….the pressure would eventually get to them....how many situations can u imagine in which the girl cud say the following …”this isn’t the way ur dad does it…ur dads bigger…ur daddy doesn’t give up that quickly…u are daddy’s “lil” baby aren’t u”. Please tell me u wudnt find that a little disturbing…sickos.
It’s a good thing Dubya (George Dubya Bush) doesn’t have any sons…yet….cuz I don’t know if anyone can top him…in which category u ask….well the category is STUPIDITY!!!! I know that people say a lot of stupid things in their life time…maybe people say enough stupid things in a life time to be compiled into a book…but Dubya is a machine…he says enough stupid things in a year to be made into a book. Dubya seems to be the product of years and years of incest and I think he is as good as it gets…after this I think the recessive genes would start to kick in. Now how would Dubya’s son top his father…a father who has gone to war in search weapons of mass destruction which he can’t find…I cant help but doubt the amount of mass destruction these weapons can cause if the best military in the world cant find it. Now the only way Dubya’s son could top that is if he went to war with China on the basis that Chinese people speak English with a funny accent. See that’s how retarded George Bush is that the only way to top him is by doing the above mentioned. May god have mercy on us if there is a Dubya Junior.
Another kid who wud have a tough time living up to their dad wud be Hitler’s son. Now how do u top a man who almost wiped out the entire jewish population. The solution is simple theoretically…u try and wipeout the current dominant race…which now would be Americans. So you would try and annihilate the Americans. Wait a minute….isnt there someone already trying to do that…isn’t there someone hell bent on killing all the “infidels”…I think I have come across a startling discovery…Osama bin Ladin is the love child of Adolf Hitler and Daddy bin Ladin…it makes sense now...the obsession to destroy a whole race…the hanging out with men in a dark cave (many puns included)…Hitler did have a son and he is trying to follow in his fathers footsteps. We are doomed!!!
To all of those guys who think they have it tough trying to outdo their dads…look at the poor souls above and look how much better off u guys are. Anytime u guys feel down and depressed that ur life isn’t going anywhere just imagine how life wud be if u were Ron Jeremy’s son.
It was one of the rare moments in the year when I actually thought about where my life was headed and whether I would live up to my parents expectations. Would I be able to outdo my father which is the goal of every son??? Then being the dumb shmuck I am all these inappropriate jokes started to pop up in my head and I cudn’t continue to introspect (token big word).
Now I was thinking that I was going to have a tough time exceeding my dads accomplishments but look at the sons/daughters of these people would’ve had to live up to.
Now if Jesus had a son that boy would have a serious inferiority complex. Imagine how he would introduce himself…”Hi I’m the Grandson of God” doesn’t have the same ring to it. The poor guy most probably would end up in the loony bin…people wud keep asking him…”What can u do…can u cure aids…huh huh….can u turn water into wine…huh huh??” To this the Grandson of God wud reply, “I can’t turn water into wine but I can turn it into beer and that too only a lite beer”. Jesus’ son would be a social outcast…the jews would want to crucify him…the Christians wud be in denial that jesus has no son…and the muslims…well the muslims wud just want to blow him up cuz he is a foreigner. Finally how would the poor boy be able to top Jesus’ biggest accomplishment…”THE CRUCIFICATION”…this boy is going to be one fucked up kid cuz from childhood the only thing he wud be thinking of is how he would die…”Maybe if I was thrown out of a plane on fire….yes fire is a good touch…and while I was falling to the ground I would be shot in the arms and legs….and just before im about to hit the ground someone catches me only so that they can castrate me and feed me to the pigs….yes if I cud get this done surely it would top dads Crucifition.” For the sake of this child we can only hope that Dan Brown is wrong.
I’m sure Ron Jeremy has many sons and I feel for these poor sons of bitches (for all of u who are acting innocent as if they don’t know who Ron Jeremy is or those who actually don’t know who Ron Jeremy is here is a brief Bio. Ron Jeremy is the Porn King. He has made the most porn movies in the world and he has a penacular size of 11 inches and ¾ quarters…almost a foot long subway sub for those of u trying to imagine…sickos). Now first of all men have a complex abt the size of their equipment…and these poor guys would have live up to a legend. The girls would be going out with them with the expectation that they would “measure up” to their father. Now Ron Jeremy’s sons are the few people I can’t blame for turning gay….the pressure would eventually get to them....how many situations can u imagine in which the girl cud say the following …”this isn’t the way ur dad does it…ur dads bigger…ur daddy doesn’t give up that quickly…u are daddy’s “lil” baby aren’t u”. Please tell me u wudnt find that a little disturbing…sickos.
It’s a good thing Dubya (George Dubya Bush) doesn’t have any sons…yet….cuz I don’t know if anyone can top him…in which category u ask….well the category is STUPIDITY!!!! I know that people say a lot of stupid things in their life time…maybe people say enough stupid things in a life time to be compiled into a book…but Dubya is a machine…he says enough stupid things in a year to be made into a book. Dubya seems to be the product of years and years of incest and I think he is as good as it gets…after this I think the recessive genes would start to kick in. Now how would Dubya’s son top his father…a father who has gone to war in search weapons of mass destruction which he can’t find…I cant help but doubt the amount of mass destruction these weapons can cause if the best military in the world cant find it. Now the only way Dubya’s son could top that is if he went to war with China on the basis that Chinese people speak English with a funny accent. See that’s how retarded George Bush is that the only way to top him is by doing the above mentioned. May god have mercy on us if there is a Dubya Junior.
Another kid who wud have a tough time living up to their dad wud be Hitler’s son. Now how do u top a man who almost wiped out the entire jewish population. The solution is simple theoretically…u try and wipeout the current dominant race…which now would be Americans. So you would try and annihilate the Americans. Wait a minute….isnt there someone already trying to do that…isn’t there someone hell bent on killing all the “infidels”…I think I have come across a startling discovery…Osama bin Ladin is the love child of Adolf Hitler and Daddy bin Ladin…it makes sense now...the obsession to destroy a whole race…the hanging out with men in a dark cave (many puns included)…Hitler did have a son and he is trying to follow in his fathers footsteps. We are doomed!!!
To all of those guys who think they have it tough trying to outdo their dads…look at the poor souls above and look how much better off u guys are. Anytime u guys feel down and depressed that ur life isn’t going anywhere just imagine how life wud be if u were Ron Jeremy’s son.
posted by Late night with Dani at 2:09 PM
3 Comments:
This comment has been removed by the author.
this shit was the funniest ever, no doubt. especially george bush. and also this ron jeremy character, hmm, though im sure saalay neh plastic surgery karwayi hogi. fake bastards.
hahahhaha..........well i can't say about the others but iam sure ur son would have a hard time outdoing ur creative Blah blah
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