Super Heroes...with a Twist!

Ok...so another random thought popped into my screwed up brain the other day. I am a big super hero fan...i am still hoping that one day i will grow up to be superman...but that doesnt seem to be happening. So i thought to myself WHAT IF these popular superheroes had one minor change in them...all the same Super powers but one minor adjustment. This is the list i have compiled uptill now.

What if the Flash had his super speed but had a weak back. Every time he made a hard break...snap there goes his back.
What if Batman saw a cute cuddly kitten in the cave he fell into....wud he become CuteCuddlyKittenMan.
What if Captain America wasnt actually American but an illegal immigrant from down South.
What if Superman had motion sickness. Started doing his Super puke when he was flying...thereby destroying metropolis.
What if Spiderman had arachnophobia..." I have the powers of a spider...I disgust myself...I wanna Die!" Then he would swat himself with a newspaper.
What if Wolverine had no control of where the spikes came out. Would he be like a porcupine whenever somebody pissed him off roll up in a ball and get his spikes out....doesnt seem as cool.
What if Maula Jutt...I cant come up with anything for Maula Jutt...he's just perfect...I love the backward jumps onto the building and then the thousand bullet dance he does...wobble that chest Maula...Maula Jutt cud whup anyones ass...if only he didnt have to save his Mom's dupatta all the time. Thats like his kryptonite..."mairay maa da duppata chud deyo Jeeriyaa!!!"

If i can remember any other Superheroes...ill post them as comments. Untill then think abt this...think abt all the real problems superheroes have to go through andrealize how trivial our problems are...we got it good...those poor poor Superheroes.

Breaking the Racial Divide.

I was browsing the internet one day when i came across the website Hot or Not...for those of you who have never come across it... this is website in which you rate whether people are hot or not. As i was rating people it occured to me that the guys who created this website are pioneers, revolutionaries who are trying to cut down the racial divide into only two categories from the hundreds of thousands present today in the world...Hot or Not!

Its simple. The world should be divided into only two races. The race of the hot and the race of the not. Those pioneers are taking a step forward to making the world into a universal race of Hots now if only the government would aporve of all the nots getting vasectomies and hystrectomies.

Using the data base these geniuses have compiled we can make the world into one race of Hots...it would be a peaceful world where everyone will be happy and hot. May God give these pioneers a chance to complete their noble Mission.

ps. please include me in hot

Continuation of Retardation.

So one of my dear friends tagged me...whatever thats supposed to signify like we are in an emotional tag team wrestling match..."Tag...now why dont u share with me what ur favourite color...Tag now tell me were u abused as a child....Tag now you have to tell me if your gay...good one." What the hell is up with this retarded forwarding nonsense. If you have the unquenchable desire to keep a chain letter going...Kill yourself! Don't share it with me. Dont emotionally blackmail me with the idea that if i dont send this e-mail to 250 my mother will die...u sick fucks!

Newho im steering off topic here. My friend tagged me and i wish i cud bitch slap him for tagging me and now i have the unquenchable desire to answer any questions im supposed to. So here is my list of answers for the questions my retarded friend sent me.

5 years ago: I was a rising porn star all set to take over Ron Jeremys spot in history and also Sultan Rahis spot in history for most movies made. But then something went horrible wrong and my Micheal Jackson exploded from an overdose of viagra. An errection that lasted 4 days. That was me 5 years ago. And i am sharing this with you all because of the fact that i was tagged.

1 year ago: I underwent plastic surgery which helped me recover part of my Micheal Jackson. I was seen on the show Nip & Tuck and u can see me undergoing surgery. After that i was caught having having sex with a sheep and was put away in jail cuz the sheep was underage. How was i supposed to know it wasn't completely matured it had fake teeth implanted (those of u who go shopping for baqra eid will understand that). The reason why i am sharing such embarassing facts about my life is that i was tagged and now i cant stop myself from writing this stuff.

5 songs I know all the words to: Kill Forwarders; I dont wanna be tagged; Tag this you Bitch; The Circle of Tag and my all time favorite song "Why am i so retarded that i forward shit"

Snacks I enjoy: Since you are my friend and you have my e-mail address...i am guessing you can ask me this question to my face...but noooo that wud be too impersonal...reading it on my blog would be more meaningful...u bastard....u have the nerve to ask me what my favorite snack is when u know its FLAMING HOT CHEETOS!!! I'm sorry i just get emotional when i am asked abt snacks...i cudnt keep it in me...but now after reading it on my blog you wont forget it.

Things I'd do w/ $100 million dollars: I love this question. Most people answer i would give 50% to charity and 40% to start a business and leave the rest for my family. My ass you would!!! You would keep all that money to yourself and not share it with anyone. You know what i would do if i had 100 million dollars. I would pay $100 to everyman who kicks the ass of the person who forwards him any stupid retarded "whats ur favorite color" email or "if you dont forward this to 100 ppl u'll be a virgin for life" e-mail...that one still haunts me.

5 places I would run away to: This question is not clear therefore i cannot answer it. It depends on what the circumstances of my running away...if I am running away for fear of death i would have a different top 5 compared to the one if i were i running away for fear of remaining a virgin for life. Get what i am saying. I cant answer this question DUmbass Questionaire guy...proof read ur idiotic questions.

5 things I would never wear: A thong, Speedo, Used underwear, Underwear with shit stains, Underwear period!

5 favorite tv shows: This question is also inconclusive. It depends on my mood. I would have a different list if i were in love compared to if i were horny.

5 greatest joys: Whats up with all these 5 questions. Cant i decide how many i want to list. What if i have a shitty depressing life and cant get to 5. Did u ever think about the Mr Questionaire guy. Do u know how depressing it is knowing that i dont have 5 greatest joys!!! I am going to a rebel i am going to only write 3. How do feel now? DId i take one of ur greatest joys away from you. Here it is Sleeping, Making fun of ppl, Picking ppl up when their down and then kicking them back down.

5 favorite toys: I have only one toy and that is my favoritest toy in the world. My Micheal Jackson!

5 People I'm Tagging: I am killing myself as soon as i upload this,,, so that this viscious cycle may end. But before i go... listen to my message people.... If you get a forwarded e-mail asking u to forward it to 100 ppl ...dont do it...be a rebel...take a chance...so what if ur a virgin all ur life...at least you wont be condeming others to the same cruel fate...and if u have a friend and u want to ask him his favourite color...just do it...instead of tagging him....worse case scenario he wont answer or worse case worse case scenario he'll turn into a raving lunatic and kill you cuz asking him abt his favourite color brings back too many painful memories of how his uncle used to "play" with him... On that note Goodbye Cruel World. Tag.