The Staring Game
Okay….whether you would like to admit it or not we have all played the staring game….and we have all lost at the staring game at some point in our life. What is the Staring Game you ask me…and being the all knowing person that I am (plus the guy who is writing this article) I will answer your retarded question.
To play the staring game you need two people. A starer….and a stare-eee…u alternate on who the starer and stare-eee is usually. The object of the game is to walk away with as much pride as possible. The winner is the one whose ego is left intact. To initiate the game you must be walking towards the starer/stare-eee and you must be walking on a bridge or a narrow alley way so that there is no way not to cross each other. Now the starer/stare-eee is supposed to be a person you have only met once at a party and he/she was drunk or you were drunk and you don’t know whether he/she remembers you or you were supposed to remember him/her or if you remember he/she will you be thought of as a weirdo who has no friends and remembers everyone he/she meets. All these thoughts are going through your brain as the starer/stare-eee is approaching you.
Now that all the required pieces for the encounter are ready…Let the Game begin!!!
Now what happens is…you take turns to look at the person approaching you from the corner of your eye not making it too obvious that you recognize the person or that you want to acknowledge the persons presence. So one person looks at the other person from the corner of their eye and as he/she looks away the other person looks at the person from the corner of their eye…this way you exchange being the starer or staree. This is the preliminary stage when you are quite far from each other… in which if you are an amateur you usually crack and lose some “coolness points” by blurting out in one breath “Hey…my Name is Daniyal….we met up at a party…u were drunk and with ur head in the pot…I don’t think you remember me…I was the guy who was taking care of you in the bathroom…you looked so pretty puking…I LOVE YOU!!!” Your ego takes a hit the other person ignores you if their sane or if they are trying to be oh so nice and sweet they say…. “yeh thanx….gotta run” and then jump off the bridge, commit suicide rather than having to cross paths with you. In this case the amateur is the winner by default…but usually the amateur leaves with a shattered ego and jumps off the bridge himself later on that day.
Once the preliminary stage is over and you are both more or less side to side….stage two begins…in this case there are a couple of scenarios:
Scenario 1
The starer makes eye contact with the stare-eee and takes this as a sign and smiles (all 32 teeth)… the stare-eee sees this and turns away without acknowledging that persons existence. Victor Stare-eee.
Scenario 2
The starer makes eye contact with the stare-eee and takes this as a sign and smiles (all 32 teeth)… the stare-eee sees this and returns the smile. Draw.
Scenario 3
The starer makes eye contact with the stare-eee and takes this as a sign and smiles (all 32 teeth)… the stare-eee sees this and returns the smile. But in an effort to receive some major Haraami Points the starer looks away and ignores the persons smile…leaving the stare-eee perplexed/confused/belittled. Victor Starer.
Scenario 4
The Starer makes eye contact with the stare-eee and in an overzealous effort to get coolness points….waves. The stare-eee completely ignores this and walks on….meanwhile the starer uses that same hand which is left dangling in the air…suspended by nothing but his own stupidity….to smack the shit out of himself. Victor Stare-eee.
Some tips for scenario 3…don’t leave your hand in the air for more then a microsecond….as soon as you see no response you should move your waving hand through your hair….as swiftly and smoothly as u can manage….thereby retaining some coolness points. Another more drastic method is to use the waving hand to flip the person who ignored you off…repeated…thereby turning the tables and winning the contest.
There you have it the simple rules of the staring game….now you go play it. The prize of the game is the winner lives and the loser kills himself. You are the weakest link goodbye.
To play the staring game you need two people. A starer….and a stare-eee…u alternate on who the starer and stare-eee is usually. The object of the game is to walk away with as much pride as possible. The winner is the one whose ego is left intact. To initiate the game you must be walking towards the starer/stare-eee and you must be walking on a bridge or a narrow alley way so that there is no way not to cross each other. Now the starer/stare-eee is supposed to be a person you have only met once at a party and he/she was drunk or you were drunk and you don’t know whether he/she remembers you or you were supposed to remember him/her or if you remember he/she will you be thought of as a weirdo who has no friends and remembers everyone he/she meets. All these thoughts are going through your brain as the starer/stare-eee is approaching you.
Now that all the required pieces for the encounter are ready…Let the Game begin!!!
Now what happens is…you take turns to look at the person approaching you from the corner of your eye not making it too obvious that you recognize the person or that you want to acknowledge the persons presence. So one person looks at the other person from the corner of their eye and as he/she looks away the other person looks at the person from the corner of their eye…this way you exchange being the starer or staree. This is the preliminary stage when you are quite far from each other… in which if you are an amateur you usually crack and lose some “coolness points” by blurting out in one breath “Hey…my Name is Daniyal….we met up at a party…u were drunk and with ur head in the pot…I don’t think you remember me…I was the guy who was taking care of you in the bathroom…you looked so pretty puking…I LOVE YOU!!!” Your ego takes a hit the other person ignores you if their sane or if they are trying to be oh so nice and sweet they say…. “yeh thanx….gotta run” and then jump off the bridge, commit suicide rather than having to cross paths with you. In this case the amateur is the winner by default…but usually the amateur leaves with a shattered ego and jumps off the bridge himself later on that day.
Once the preliminary stage is over and you are both more or less side to side….stage two begins…in this case there are a couple of scenarios:
Scenario 1
The starer makes eye contact with the stare-eee and takes this as a sign and smiles (all 32 teeth)… the stare-eee sees this and turns away without acknowledging that persons existence. Victor Stare-eee.
Scenario 2
The starer makes eye contact with the stare-eee and takes this as a sign and smiles (all 32 teeth)… the stare-eee sees this and returns the smile. Draw.
Scenario 3
The starer makes eye contact with the stare-eee and takes this as a sign and smiles (all 32 teeth)… the stare-eee sees this and returns the smile. But in an effort to receive some major Haraami Points the starer looks away and ignores the persons smile…leaving the stare-eee perplexed/confused/belittled. Victor Starer.
Scenario 4
The Starer makes eye contact with the stare-eee and in an overzealous effort to get coolness points….waves. The stare-eee completely ignores this and walks on….meanwhile the starer uses that same hand which is left dangling in the air…suspended by nothing but his own stupidity….to smack the shit out of himself. Victor Stare-eee.
Some tips for scenario 3…don’t leave your hand in the air for more then a microsecond….as soon as you see no response you should move your waving hand through your hair….as swiftly and smoothly as u can manage….thereby retaining some coolness points. Another more drastic method is to use the waving hand to flip the person who ignored you off…repeated…thereby turning the tables and winning the contest.
There you have it the simple rules of the staring game….now you go play it. The prize of the game is the winner lives and the loser kills himself. You are the weakest link goodbye.
posted by Late night with Dani at 7:32 AM
4 Comments:
so funny..so true hahah
This comment has been removed by the author.
hey, staring games!!
this ones a slightly different version tho :)
http://nakedfeet.blogspot.com/2005/02/quite-few-people-have-gathered-for.html
hahahah .. gotta love staring games !
you've got a pretty neat blog here dude, you are bookmarked ..
drop by my blog sometime ..
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